Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Walking Dead? No, it's just Behcet's...

Last week I was told by my mother-in-law I look like a zombie. This was due to me walking and looking like one. It was a night of the usual severe pain and fatigue, where every move kills your body.

I, of course, laughed at this because of how much I hate zombies (traumatized as child at the babysitters from watching Night Of The Living Dead- yet this doesn't keep me from watching The Walking Dead). And yes, walking like this happens often.

This weekend I thought I'd give golf a try again. After the first hole I threw in the flag. I could feel it in my wrists and elbows. I decided to not have a repeat of last time. The feeling of how I felt afterwards was too fresh in my mind. When will I golf again? I'm guessing next year when the thoughts of how I feel afterward are long forgotten.

I also received my denial of disability this past week. Surprise surprise...I know it's going to be a long fight, especially after hearing stories from other BD'ers. I find the letter rather amusing. It pretty much states my condition is not severe enough to keep me from working. What I wouldn't give for the people who decided this to be hit with this disease. I wish they were forced to spend a week with me or in my body so they may understand. I have a meeting with a disability lawyer next week. I'll be spending my good time (time where I can semi-function) gathering info from websites and my own records I've kept to give to the lawyers.

I came across something rather interesting a couple days ago:

If all of a persons arteries, veins, and capillaries in the body were stretched end to end, they would reach across the United States, not once, but 20,000 times!

Wow huh? Now imagine how messed up my body is from all these vessels because that is what my disease affects...

How's today for me? Well, I'm in a flare up. Day 2 to be exact. Can't walk without holding onto something. My body from the hips down is heavy, throbbing, and feels bruised. Pain is 9-10/10 even with pain pills. Go to the ER you say? No thanks. They don't know what to do with me except dope me up on IV pain meds.

When I see my rheumy next week I think I'm going to break down and ask for a walker or cane. I'm having more days lately where I need support to walk.


"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."- Khalil Gibran

No comments:

Post a Comment