Oh the humidity...

Human Barbie, human Ken, meh not impressed, how about a weather person who can accurately tell the weather. The Human Weather Station coming to you live from _______(insert your city here).

It's the hot time of year (hot August nights...Neil Diamond song starting now-FYI he puts on an awesome show- the best I've seen, no joke) and with the weather changes comes fun times with the body of a Behcetie. That's my new word for us in case you are wondering. Similar to a machete because Behcet's slices our bodies into something it shouldn't. Or if you prefer a less gruesome analogy, think of Behcet's like your new best friend, your bestie. The humidity has made my body feel swollen and painful. Hurts to walk because my ankles feel like they've been broken and put back together. Finger swelling, check mate. Which, by the way, is making this fun to type up (thankful for the finger swipe on kindle).

Some days, who am I kidding, most days I feel like I should be in the circus for the shit my body does. I'm guessing most of you feel the same  way. How many of you can make your eyes  see pretty little black dots that look like birds? Or make your tongue look like a map? Or get the lovely occipital pain where you can't turn your neck because it feels like you have a piece of metal stuck in your neck making it unable to move? Bruising like I've used myself as a bowling ball is always a fun parlor trick. Let's not forget the purdy skin rashes and other oddities that could easily be a page long if I was to yap about it all. If only we weren't so special...

Here's something that will hopefully give you all a laugh. Our chocolate lab has a flatulence issue at times. As I'm writing this he plops down beside me and let's one rip. Now this is better than the usual following him up the stairs while he farts with every step. The joys of dog ownership.

"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day." ~unknown

Let's talk about stress baby...(Salt-N-Pepa style)

Let's talk about stress shall we?

Stress, we all have it to some extent. How about you?

What does stress do to Behcet's? Simple. One word: Flare. And it ain't purdy. In fact, stress is a bitch. But so are those damn flare ups.

How does it feel to be stress free? Is there such a thing? I think so (but what do I know). To me it feels like there is no weight being placed on your body or mind. It's being able to smile, be happy, a state of content. (Que post-modern psychology discussion here)

How about the different types of stress: emotional, physical, money, short term, long term, etc. (I'm sure somewhere out there someone's wanting to argue there's not different kinds, so to that person- go fuck yourself, this is my blog.) What's one of my least favorites that never goes away? Health stress. This is the stress related to Behcet's and Behcet's alone for me. I find myself asking how am I going to get past this flare and am ever going to feel back to my normal crappy (you know what I'm talking about)- this is about the time I'm cursing this disease and everything that goes along with it. It's the why can't I just have a normal body...Why is my body so damn awesome it needs to attack itself...why why why, that's always the question- usually followed with fuck,fuck,fuck...

Another favorite: the stress of others. Are you one of those people who try to help others and get bit in the butt over and over? I like to think people are generally nice and want to help others, but the reality is a lot of people are out there for themselves. I see it more often than not but it doesn't stop me from knowing there are others who really want to make a difference. Of course this whole topic can spin off into many questions- such as are we raising selfish assholes? But perhaps it's best we don't go down that road today.

Social media stress. Yeah, it's real. A couple months ago I decided to get rid of Facebook. There are good things about it, but bad things as well. It's been one of the best decisions I've made recently. I have no plans of going back. Of course I miss some things but it's nice to be free. Anyone who's ever quit Facebook knows what I'm talking about. I will say the support groups are a good thing to have even if you get in a spat with someone occasionally. You just need to pick the right support group and you will probably go through several before you find a decent one.

Kick those stressors out of your life, even if it's family and friends. In the end, it's just not worth it. You have one life, unless you believe in reincarnation, so why piss it away? I'm sure you're asking how do I do this? How do you cut out those you've been close to or lived with all your life? Simple. You will get to that point where you say "I'm done, I'm ready to live my life for me and not them anymore." And then you begin your life.

And for those saying everyone going's through something try to understand. That is true but it doesn't mean you have to take their shit year after year. My S.O. and myself have made some major changes to our lives regarding his family. I won't go into details because then I wouldn't be any better than those passing judgement on us for our actions (there are those in the family who chose to paint us as the bad people instead of dealing with the truth- I guess it's easier that way, right?), so to them I say step into our shoes, open your house up, and then judge away. Do we regret any of the decisions we've made regarding his family? No because it helped his younger brother get out of abuse. Little known fact: I had one of his family members apologize to me as she didn't believe what we said/what we've dealt with until she seen it first hand. So what's the big change we're making you ask? We are living our lives for ourselves for the first time in many many years and it feels wonderful!


I'll leave it with this: do what you love, enjoy your life, and quit spinning in the hamster wheel of stress.

P.S. If you have written an email to me and I didn't write back, I apologize. I try to answer emails even if it's months later. I hope to soon write back those I haven't.




"Before I never understood how people can cut family out of their lives. But after the last couple years, I'm finally beginning to understand and am ready to do it." ~ from someone close to me

"Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


"You can see the change in you. I've never seen you so happy. Before it was meh/fake smiles, now you're really smiling." ~ Paraphrasing what a friend said to me lately. 

I could so never work in a bubble wrap factory...