Most of us with Behcet's do not look sick. Maybe I should say the general public doesn't see us when we are bad off- having to lay in bed all day due to pain or having to crawl to the toilet secretly wishing we had a catheter in us on those days. It is a silent disease that fights our bodies from within as with many autoimmune disorders. Every day our bodies scream at us to do something about the pain and all the other lovely symptoms that come along with Behcet's. We do not get the disfigurement like Rheumatoid Arthritis (or as far as I know-maybe there are some cases). In fact we are a lot like lupus. Many of us getting a lupus diagnosis at first since symptoms are so similar.
Alright, get to the point Chrissy, right? This post is to tell you about my problems trying to obtain a handicap parking permit. Last week at my doctors appointment, she filled out a handicap parking form. Yesterday was the first day in 5 days that I felt well enough to leave the house. This was my one goal for the day. I went to the DMV in Elk River, near the train tracks, not the government center. I want to distinguish between the two as the government center workers have always been kind when I go there. I went to the closest office as I knew it was going to take all my energy just to get there and back.
I presented my handicap parking certificate to which the lady said "We don't accept photocopied papers." I said, "What? It's not photocopied. I wrote in blue and my doctor wrote in black." I didn't think this would be an issue or we would've use the same pen when filling it out. She then brought it over to another lady, who agreed it was photocopied. I argued some more, only to be told, "Your doctor needs to not write so well, it looks like a photocopy." Seriously? I left there heart broken. As time went on, I started getting pissed off. Why is this OK? Who is it for them to decide what's legit? If it's that questionable then they should be calling the doctors office. Then it hit me. They don't think I'm handicap as I went walking in there with no wheelchair or cane. Is that what it's going to take? If so, that's fucking ridiculous.
Several things happened after this:
1) I decided to call back up there and ask them what I need to do so I do not have this problem next time. I asked if I need to have my doctor use blue pen. They said "We prefer black ink". Wait, what?! I said, "That's what I have and you refused it." They proceeded to tell me I need a "live signature." I replied that is a live signature and you are refusing it. They then told me "If we think it's a fake, we don't have to take it." The lady I spoke with on the phone was named Edna and I do not believe she was the one that helped me as she needed to put me on hold as she did not recall dealing with a handicap parking permit. I did not get the other two ladies names when I was there but one was about my age- early 30's with brown hair pulled back and the other lady was in her 40's with black hair almost down to her shoulders. If you're reading this, you know who you are and shame on you.
2) I was so upset after this, I had done everything they wanted, so why am I having such a hard time obtaining my permit? I decided to file a complaint with the DMV. After finding the number, I spoke with a lady who was very nice and promised to pass my complaint along to the appropriate person. About two hours later I received a call from a Tom Evans at the DMV. Unfortunately, I was in bed with an occipital migraine and in no shape to have a conversation about this. I ended up calling him back after work hours and leaving a message with my story. I made sure to let him know I felt discriminated against because I did. I have no doubt that if I had been in a wheelchair, they wouldn't have second guessed it. A couple of my BD friends suggested I go in next time without my hair done and morning breathe and they'll get me in and out ASAP. Ha ha, this was my only laugh for the day yesterday. Thanks girls:) I asked him to email me instead of calling as I never know how I am going to feel and if I will be able to hold a telephone conversation. This is his response from this morning:
Dear Ms. Gunderson,
I am very sorry for the trouble you had at the Deputy Registrar office. The manager in charge of our business partner relations is contacting the office in regard to your situation and will offer them remedial training in customer service.
Your first instinct about the office over scrutinizing your application because you don’t appear to be disabled is probably correct. Unfortunately there is quite a bit of fraud associated with the parking certificates but that is no excuse.
If you or your doctor’s office would prefer to FAX your application directly to me I will see that the parking certificate is issued right away.
You may FAX it directly to my desktop at 651-797-XXXX.
Tom Evans
DPS Supervisor
Special Plates/ Plate Impound/ Disability Parking Certificates
(651) 201-XXXX
This email was a blessing. I can't say how thankful I am he is able to help me and willing to help me. I had Jason fax the form from his work and Tom responded back he received the form and will get it in the mail ASAP for me. Thank you Tom!
As I told my story to my family last night, they shook their heads in disbelief and said a few choice words. Jacob, my 12 year old brother-in-law, said "Chrissy you should've brought a cane with you." I just smiled. Even he understands.
I'm sure I will be dealing with discrimination many more times with this handicap parking permit, but as I said in a previous post, they picked the wrong person to mess with because I will speak up and they won't like what I have to say. I hope by you reading this you will not judge people who look normal and have a handicap parking permit. You never know what someone else is dealing with.
The reason I need this is because due to the Behcet's I am at significant risk for falling and need to rest frequently when walking. By the way, I do not go some where unless I absolutely have to or feel decent that day. The days of feeling decent are very rare however. And yes, something I miss most of all is being able to go on walks in the warm weather. The feeling of the sun on my face, hearing the birds chirp, taking in the views of nature. You don't realize what you miss until you don't have it.
I hope no one else has to go through what I did but know there will be others with similar stories to mine because of people's ignorance.
“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about” Unknown
Update: I received my handicap parking permit on 4/14/12. The day after I talked with Tom. How's that for service? Once again thank you Tom!
Chrissy, you are one of the braviest AND ballsiest (if that is even spelled right) woman I know. I think the saying that God only gives us what we can handle is BS becuase I don't always think He knows what we can handle, but I do believe that God puts certain people into our lives for a reason, I He put you in my life and the lives of many others, no doubt, to learn from. There is no way in hell you will take this stupid auta-immune disease and say OK, you will fight it with everything you have and show it who is the boss! Keep it up! Chris
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